Month: February 2017

It is only when I have to go to hospital appointments that I get a bit jittery. CT and bone scans awaited me at Addenbrooke’s this morning and as I sat in the blue seated Oncology reception area I pondered why, when I feel physically fit, all these expensive tests are necessary. When I look round and see what some of my fellow patients are going through I feel a bit of a fraud, as though the doctors and nurses should be concentrating their efforts on them not me. My attention was drawn to the lady next to me who was approached by a nurse who had evidently administered her first dose of chemo last week. She must have chatted for at least ten minutes. I was still deep in thought, marvelling at the nurse’s kindness, when my name was called.

Over the next few hours I was at the sharp end of 4 needles, injected with radioactivity, water, and contrasting fluid. I had to lie still in two scanners and told that due to my radioactivity I should move away from a teenage boy in the waiting room. At every stage, without exception, I was treated in such a caring and friendly way with complete professionalism. How do they do it? I know I couldn’t. They must have their own worries..bills to pay, childcare issues, any number of things, but they are always unwaveringly cheerful. Heartwarming indeed.

Day to day my brain’s strategy for dealing with the cancer is simply to ignore it. I don’t think that makes me a positive or a negative person but just someone who accepts his fate. This works for me..

Today had extra poignancy as it is not only the day for my scans but is also the second anniversary of having my prostate removed which led to the inevitable consequences.

At the same time it has prolonged my life beyond my wildest dreams and it is on days like this that I am so thankful, not only to the medical staff, but to all the other people who have worked so hard, put up with my moods, and supported me tremendously to get me this far. You know who you are.

Today was yoga day. Ros goes twice a week to classes run by Shelagh & Chris and they had kindly suggested that today’s session would be in aid of Prostate Cancer UK. I thought I should give it a go and it turned out to be a lot of fun with a record number of participants. Although I’m not sure I completely mastered the sphinx, the turtle, or walking the dog…and the happy baby was impossible…Shelagh and Chris are great teachers and we had a lot of laughs. It looks as though we have raised in the region of £165.  (edit..the final total was £400)

This brings me on to the question of whether I will ask people to sponsor me on my ride on La Vélo  Francette. One part of me, the part that wants to do things with the minimum of fuss, is telling me not to. After all, when Nelson set off for Trafalgar he didn’t ask all his mates to donate a farthing for each ship he sank did he? However just riding 400 miles is inherently  a pointless exercise and by asking for sponsorship I will not only raise money but also add some meaningfulness to the trip.

It’s almost two weeks since last posting and I have been progressing well. OK so I fell off my bike again the other day but as things supposedly “come along in threes” I am hoping that I won’t be hitting the deck again for a while.

Before Christmas Ros and I attended a course titled “coping with prostate cancer ” run by the charity, Maggie’s Wallace, who provide fantastic cancer support at their drop-in centre at Addenbrooke’s Hospital. The course itself was interesting but more importantly it was good just to talk about my situation with other people going through the same thing. And despite being the world’s biggest cynic when it comes to these things I also tried mindfulness techniques and even tai chi for the first time to help me with the “panic” attacks that wash over me every few days.

The other course members wanted to keep in touch so we met up again last Saturday and all headed for the Dolphin Hotel in St Ives. I had set myself the target of cycling there and that if I managed it I felt I would be on schedule for Le Grand Départ. A head cold had been hard to shake off all week so I set off unsure of the outcome but just over two hours and 28.8 miles later I rolled across the magnificent bridge over the Great Ouse and to the warmth of the hotel bar. It was great to see everyone and to catch up on their news but I was most pleased that I had done the ride comfortably and could easily have gone further.

This Saturday, after a few false starts, I arranged to meet Caroline, my former boss when I worked in Paris. From day one we had got on brilliantly when she arrived in Paris and has always been a great friend. Caroline loves yoga and we met after her class. We had a lovely Japanese meal and plenty to drink but at the same time caught up on all our news. It did me a lot of good to be able to talk about how much my life has changed in the last couple of years. Another bonus was that Caroline’s fondness for karaoke didn’t resurface! I always remember the time we were in a karaoke bar in Paris and Caroline put in a request for a Carpenters’ song. What happened next was hilarious. As she stood on the stage, microphone in hand, the wrong song was played, something neither she nor I had ever heard of. Instead of giving up immediately she tried to blag it before giving up in fits of giggles. What a girl!