It is only when I have to go to hospital appointments that I get a bit jittery. CT and bone scans awaited me at Addenbrooke’s this morning and as I sat in the blue seated Oncology reception area I pondered why, when I feel physically fit, all these expensive tests are necessary. When I look round and see what some of my fellow patients are going through I feel a bit of a fraud, as though the doctors and nurses should be concentrating their efforts on them not me. My attention was drawn to the lady next to me who was approached by a nurse who had evidently administered her first dose of chemo last week. She must have chatted for at least ten minutes. I was still deep in thought, marvelling at the nurse’s kindness, when my name was called.
Over the next few hours I was at the sharp end of 4 needles, injected with radioactivity, water, and contrasting fluid. I had to lie still in two scanners and told that due to my radioactivity I should move away from a teenage boy in the waiting room. At every stage, without exception, I was treated in such a caring and friendly way with complete professionalism. How do they do it? I know I couldn’t. They must have their own worries..bills to pay, childcare issues, any number of things, but they are always unwaveringly cheerful. Heartwarming indeed.
Day to day my brain’s strategy for dealing with the cancer is simply to ignore it. I don’t think that makes me a positive or a negative person but just someone who accepts his fate. This works for me..
Today had extra poignancy as it is not only the day for my scans but is also the second anniversary of having my prostate removed which led to the inevitable consequences.
At the same time it has prolonged my life beyond my wildest dreams and it is on days like this that I am so thankful, not only to the medical staff, but to all the other people who have worked so hard, put up with my moods, and supported me tremendously to get me this far. You know who you are.
Jon on a bike...La Vélo Francette 